I sometimes hate that I cant take any anxiety meds when pregnant. I seem to be doing alot of worrying here lately. Not even pregnancy related. I am stressing about money! Which I almost always worry about. i really need to do better about budgeting. Also, we still have a ton of crap in the house we were renting before we got here. Yeah, I know...we have been here for a while...but I just havent wanted to go out there. Plus it doesnt help that the landlord guy is a biker dude who can be kinda scary if he wants to. We need to do some repairs out there, and get the carpet cleaned. My kids are hard on carpet! I would just get all the stuff and bring it here, but where we used to live was basically a little town built on a field...so mice love it out there! And I dont want to bring mice here!! So, I really need to get my rear in gear and just get it done!! But I am such a procrastinator!! And that is another thing that drives me nuts!! I know it needs done, but I am not getting it done!! One of the ladies that I used to work with at the pharmacy, is now city clerk for where we used live, (it is five miles from here), and I think she must have said something to my landlord, cuz he called last month, and said he really needs to get someone in there. this lady and I dont get along!! So, I am sure she did in vengeance. I just need to get it done!! But when I come home from work, I am so tired...I am hoping to get a major chunk of it done this weekend!!
I also have been thinking alot of Carli! Not that I dont think of her all the time anyhow, but this would have been her first Halloween! One of the ladies I work with now asked if I minded if she put Carli on the list for All Saint's Day at her church. I told her I didnt mind. My fave OB nurse, Kristin saw me Sunday at the store and asked if I had gone to church that day. Well, I didnt...I am really bad about not going to church. But she told me that she saw Carli's picture on the slide show that they did, and she lost it! The lady from work told me that she thinks alot of people lost it seeing a baby, when all the other people on there were older adults. I am so glad to know that there are so many people out there that have been affected by my sweet little girl!
We went out to the cemetery yesterday and threw away the little pumpkin that we took Carli for Halloween. For some reason I was really emotional going out and getting that. I sometimes feel guilty for how excited I am for this baby. i really do think Carli would want me to be happy....and I am sorry if I keep repeating that. I cant really remember what I have in each post! I have decided that I think this baby will wear home the outfit that we had gotten for Carli to wear home. Carli didnt get to wear it, but in my heart, I dont feel that she would mind this. I bought a cute little pack of socks that I think would match the dress perfectly, and also got a little 3 pack of headbands. Maybe when I get around to doing the belly pics, I will take a pic of that too!!
But here I am!! I have wanted to come post results of the big ultrasound...I have really. But it seems like every time I think about coming to do it, I either get side-tracked or just dont know what I want to say! but thanks to a few ladies....here I am!!
My ultrasound went wonderful!! The tech showed us where the heart was, where the stomach was, and most importantly, where the diaphragm was. Everything was where it is suppose to be. I literally let out a HUGE sigh of relief. The tech showed us the four chamber heart...and we got to see a really nice skeleton view of the face! *LOL* Our tech, Gretchen, did keep telling me thought that she was having a hard time getting a good shot of the "Goods". Casey and Keaton had gone with me. Right around this point, Keaton stated that he had to poop!! That's my Keater!! Always lightening the mood!! *LOL* So, I told Casey to go ahead and take Keaton to the bathroom...at which point I asked Gretchen if an earthquake might help our situation. You know what I mean, right?? Where you do the tummy jiggle to get the baby to switch postions! She said it couldnt hurt anything...so that is exactly what I did!! And it worked!!! Not only did it work, but this child gave a really nice shot of it!! Gretchen wouldnt even guess before this point. She later told me that at first she thought girl, then she thought boy. But I believe Gretchen wouldnt have told me if she wasnt pretty sure!! So, I am sure at this point you are wondering why am I not telling you huh?? I know, I am just being mean!
Well, I am very pleased to announce that we are more than likely going to have another baby GIRL!!!! I am beyond thrilled! But, I do want to mention how I have had a few bouts of guilt. I am so excited to be having another baby girl...sometimes I feel that I am cheating Carli with all of my excitement. I really do think thou that Carli would want me to be happy, and excited..and all those other emotions! As crazy as this sounds, I really do feel that Carli had a hand in making sure that I got another little girl.
As for names, I reminded Casey that he told me we could discuss them once we knew what it was. Casey told me that maybe the kids could help with this one. I have talked with all of the kids on this one. Mikaela's choice is Mackenzie Lynne and Carter likes Maeryn. As for my little Keaton, well, he always finds a way to melt my heart. We were talking about it on the way to the babysitter one day. I was telling Keaton all of the names that I liked. He informed me that "Carli needs a baby sister named Kenzi!" Those are the boy's words!!! Casey thinks I have the kids brainwashed into choosing that name. Which really isnt true, since here lately I have fallen in love with the name Kolette. But Mackenzie was one of my top choices. Now I am trying to decide how I want to spell it. I am thinking of dropping the "E" maybe. Mackenzi....hmmm...I dont know yet! Guess I need to work on that. But I have decided that I really like the middle name of Grace. Mackenzie Grace....I think it flows really well. Casey did say NO on that one, but I really, really love it.
Keaton has been calling the baby Kenzi, so I am guessing that will more than likely be her name. Also, I have just recently been feeling some movement. Another huge relief! It was rather cute the other day. I was laying on the couch watching t.v., and Wickett was laying at the bottom of my tummy and I felt Kenzi kick. Well, Wickett must have felt it too!! He jerked his little head up and looked around like "What the heck was that?"
I am doing really well at this point. The heartburn, oh the nasty heartburn, hasnt kicked in yet. I am hoping that maybe I wont get it as bad this time. Yeah, I know....very wishful thinking huh? I do have to admit, that at my last appointment, I gained 8, yes, 8 pounds. I about fell off the scale!! My doctor wasnt worried about it. I only gained a little more than that my WHOLE pregnancy with Carli!! He told me as long as I dont gain that every month, and as long as my glucose test didnt come back at 400, then I was fine. I am glad he is ok with it...but WOW!! He told me not to go and start being anorexic...I laughed and told him not to worry...that wasnt going to happen. I love food too much for that!! *LOL*
Guess that really is all there is to update about. Sorry I didnt get it done sooner!!!
Dr said he will probably keep an eye on my hemoglobin. I have had to have a blood transfusion after the last 3 c-sections, so he wants to keep an eye on it, and he said they will probably make sure to have some blood on hand for another transfusion after this c-section as well. I have some funky antibody called a Duffy antibody, so they have to really check out the blood!
He said they will probably do an sono between 18 & 20 weeks to see if we can rule out any problems!! I am very excited for that one!! He normally doesnt do one until 24-28 weeks!! Evil, pure evil I tell ya!! Then I will have another one probably around 28-32 weeks!!
And just for good measure, here is a picture of our little lucky charm!!
I forgot that I wanted to say that my little baby in my widget actually looks like a little baby now, rather than a little alien!!
And, we are gonna be getting a new puppy!! Probably around September 16th!! A little boy!! We decided to name him Wickett, since he will kinda look like an Ewok!! He is a Morkie, which is 1/2 Maltese and 1/2 Yorkie!! I am so excited!! His momma is only 4.5lbs and his daddy is 3.5lbs! So needless to say, he will be a little guy!! We have already bought a little food/water bowl, and a super cute little, and I stress the word little, collar that says, "Bad to the bone!"
I cant wait to share pictures of him!!
And, Sunday, we went out the the cemetary to visit Carli, and Keaton never ceases to amaze me!! He always talks to Carli!! I think Casey and I were kinda down when we were out there, but Keaton made us smile!! He went over and showed Carli (leaned over where she is) and said, "Hey Carli, want to see my new tattoo? It is a dinosaur!!" He is just so sweet and innocent!!
I have my first prenate appointment today!! I will go for an ultrasound at 1:30 p.m. and then right after that I go see Dr. S! I am so excited, but so scared/nervous all at once. I had an u/s about this same time last time with Carli. Actually, they say that by the end of this week is when the risk for congenital problems drop. With Carli, they say her diaphragm didnt close up around this time. But the baby is too small to know that right now. As silly as it sounds, I did talk to my belly one day last week and told the diaphragm to do what it was suppose to do!!
Monday seemed to be kinda of a rough day again. Last Monday was the same way! I was very anxious and felt like I was gonna burst into tears at any moment! I think it was a combo of trying not to stress out about this appt, and that I had Chelsea's baby shower on Sunday. It went really well. I got pretty upset though, cause some of my family decided it would be nice to be fashionably late! I put on the invites that it was gonna start at 2 p.m. They decided to show up around 2:30-2:45! I was NOT happy!! I had to wait for them to show up so we could do all the games! After that though, it went smooth!
I called the monument place about Carli's bench. He was very nice. Told me that it has been sitting in a dock in Georgia for the past 2-3 weeks. That he has really been bugging them to get it shipped. But i guess since fuel prices are so high, they have been stalling. He PROMISED to call me as soon as it was in. He said not to quote him, but that he thought it might ship out on Friday. I sure hope so! I am getting antsy waiting to see it!! I hope it is as beautiful in real life as it is in my imagination!!
Can I just say again how excited I am that we are expecting another little one in March!!! I have to admit though, that there are some fears there as well. I kinda cornered Casey the other night. Asked him what he thought of it all. I know he is happy about it, but I know there is the agony of the thought of having to go thru something like we did with Carli again.
I am really looking forward to my first prenate appointment on August 29th. God that seems like forever away!! I am scheduled for a sono thou. So, that should hopefully bring me some relief. Even though I had a sono at the same time with Carli. That was right after the diaphragm hadnt fully closed last time. Of course, it is too soon to be able to tell anything like that. You know...since they are so small and all!! Guess I will just have to keep plugging along until then huh!! Did I mention that that is FOREVER away!! *LOL*
Well, I have only know for 4 days, and have been itching to buy something baby. Today, i got to fill that urge. My mom and I are going to throw a baby shower for my brothers girlfriend, Chelsea. I pretty much refer to her as my sister in law.
Anyhow...I got to go buy baby stuff!! HA! HA! Casey!! *LOL* He cant understand my urge to want to buy something baby, no matter how small it might be!! I am so looking forward to this baby shower!! I got to buy diapers, wipes, pacis, bottles, washcloths, towels, burp clothes, baby soap...all the good stuff you know!! And of course all of the game stuff too!! We are going to do a baby word scramble, guess the baby food, fill in the blank nursery rhyme game, who has the dirty diaper?, memorize it, and The Baby came (a baby in an ice cube). Chelsea is really excited too!! I got the stuff to make my favors. Little pacis made from jelly beans and life savers, the chocolate bars that I have ordered the wrappers for, the little prizes for the winners of the games. For that, we got a really nice little candle that was 1/2 off (a whopping 50 cents) with a really nice bottle of body spray and a tube of same scent body lotion. Then we are also going to have a diaper raffle, where the winner gets a calgon bath pack. And of course, we have to make it easy for Chelsea to do her thank you notes, so we are going to have people address the envelopes for her, and she will draw one out for that person to win a little pedicure set. I think I am going to call our favorite scrap store and see if they will make me a nice little advice journal and have everyone put something in it for Chelsea while she is opening the presents!
I seem to have it pretty much planned!! Did it mostly today!!
Well, I must go lay down in my bed with my hubby. I guess he has missed me today!!
Wow!! I am so excited but nervous all at the same time!! I told my dr about my positive test. He is super excited for me too!! He said he has all his fingers and toes crossed for me. And that he feels this time it will go better. So far, I dont have any off feelings. So that is a good sign. He told me he would have his nurse Patty set up my first appointment and my first sono. They are officially set for Wednesday, August 29th!! I am so excited!
I really do feel that Carli had a hand in this. I had decided that I wasnt going to avoid trying this month. My SIL, Chelsea said she too thinks that Carli had a hand in this. She thinks that Carli thought it would be good to have some happiness around my sad time. I totally agree. My mom has told me that I am going to have to prepare myself for that. I have already thought of that. That has been on my mind since we started TTC. I know this journey is going to be hard, but i am excited to be on it. I am already anxious to find out what we are having. I had told Carli that we would really like another baby sister down here. I especially want a girl now!! I have all of those super cute outfits that I bought for Carli. And with the due date being only a week after Carli's birthday...it makes me want it all the more. So far, no feelings on what it is...I know it is too soon.
I do have to add that in one of my last few posts, I posted about my kids due dates. See, it is there!! Mikaela=August 4th, Carter=June 27th, Keaton=May 4th, Carli=April 4th, and this one is March 27th!
I talked to my favorite OB nurse, Kristin, yesterday. I told her all about it. She asked when the due date was...i told her March 27th, so she asked if I was wanting March 13th...I told her no, that what I really wanted was March 17th. She said she will call the dr and tell him that they have me set for a c-section on March 17th!!! *LOL* Only a few days in, and we got the date set!! I really hope my dr will let me do it! That is the 10-14 days before!!
I have only told a few people. I havent told my boss yet. He is leaving for Boston for a week next week. He usually freaks out, so I think I will wait until he gets back. He should be expecting it to come any time now thou. He has been warned that we were going to try again, and he said he knew I would!
Looks like we are gonna have another Spring Break baby!! That is when we had Carli last year!! Now I just need to come up with a cute little nickname for the baby. Any ideas??