Just Taking It Day by Day

Last nite Casey and I had to make some choices for next years insurance. I would have never thought that Carli's death would have ever made me think of insurance different, but it did! We were trying to decide all the fun things like deductibles and maximum out of pocket expenses. I mean, I have always wished we could have the lowest possible out of pocket, but thinking about our hospital bills from this year, I have really, really wished we had lower. Casey told me that we arent going to have anything like this last year next year. I told him I sure hoped we didnt. They want any changes made by October 26th. I really just want to call my dr and ask him if we can get the ultrasound sometime next week, rather than waiting until October!! That way, as morbid as this sounds, we can change our out of pocket if we need to! How horrible is that thought!!! I hate it!!

I had a really crappy day at work yesterday! Some people think that their lack of planning should constitute as an emergency on our part!! I work in a pharmacy...I deal with this everyday!! But come on people!! You are not suppose to wait until they day you are out of meds to get it refilled!!! And YOU are suppose to make sure that their are refills on YOUR meds!! I had one lady call yesterday that is considered an acquaintance! Her youngest daughter was released from the NICU that Carli was in on the day Carli was born. Needless to say, this child, along with her sister have some major problems since they were both born premature. They take a med to help raise thier blood sugar. So you would think, as important as a drug as that is, that she would not wait until she is COMPLETELY out of meds!! She calls me yesterday and needs a refill for DD #1, but she is out of refills! DD #2's script wont be able to be filled until Friday. But she is completely out of both!! I tried to explain to her our situation on it...I really did feel bad that she would have to pay out of pocket for one of them, but it is beyond my control. It all worked out in the end, she got a dr from our local ER to call in a refill of the meds for her so it went thru insurance and she didnt have to pay a cash price, but I still felt crappy. So crappy, that I cried for quite a while!! I really do try to do what I can...but sometimes I am limited as to what I can do!! Plus it didnt help that they weather was really, really crappy yesterday too!! It rained all day long, and we were even in a tornado watch!!

Well, just wanted to let you know that I guess I wont be getting my much wanted gender check!! I called the place last week, only to find out that they are no longer in business. There is a place in Wichita that does them, but you have to have a dr's note stating it is ok for you to have it done. Which my dr said he would do, but I feel kinda bad asking for one, when I should just hold off a few more weeks, and have it done here at the hospital.



Thank you girls for your comments on the names!! I guess it is a good thing that Colton isnt really high on my list, since it could be a mouthful yelling Keaton and Colton! Very good point!!

Other than that, life is going pretty good. I did have my first major test this week. Casey's uncle passed away on Friday, October 5th. We went down to Oklahoma for his funeral. It was really hard. I would have never imagined how hard it would have been. I found myself thinking of Carli alot more. On the way to the visitation, I thought of our visitation with Carli. Same thing with the ride to the cemetary. I just kept having flashbacks. And it really sucked! I cried so much that I had a horrid headache. I just kept thinking of how Aunt Meme was feeling, and it made me sick to my stomach.

I went up and gave Meme a hug when we made it to the visitation, and she told me "this has just been a shitty year hasnt it!!" I told her that I had to agree. She then tried brightening it back up by telling me that we have something good coming this spring thou!! That we do!! I keep trying to keep my eye on the prize, without stressing too much!!

I cant believe I havent posted in almost a month!! I have thought about different stuff I wanted to blog about, but just couldnt seem to get the energy to post it!! But, thanks to Nanny's comment...here I am!!

She asked me what the names were that I had....are you really ready for the names?? I guess it really isnt too bad of a list...so here we go!! Boys names first, then the girls!! *= my personal first choices

BOYS
*Cade Ryan
*Cole Andrew
Cael, Kael
Kane
Camden
Colton
Conner
Corbett

GIRLS
*Mackenzie Lynne (or possibly Mackenzie Gracelyn)
*Kaia Marie (Caia)
Cambree
Cambria
Camryn
Karrigan
Kelby
Kendall
Kiely, Keeli
Kylar
Maeryn

I was asking Keaton the other night which of the names he liked. That is when Casey mentioned something about letting the kids name this baby. I told him that was an interesting thought, that as long as him and I narrow it down, that would be fine! I think!!

My last dr appt went pretty good. All looks great! I am at 142lbs, blood pressure looked good at 110/70. It took him a bit to get the heartbeat! I guess the little bean sprout was moving around ALOT!! He did finally get it thou and said it was in the 140's. He told me that we would probably have my u/s at 26 weeks, at which point I reminded him that he said between 18 & 20 he would do it...my next appt I will be at 17 weeks, so he said we will do it at the appt after that at 21 weeks...I didnt fight him on that. He said he wanted to wait until 21 weeks since all looked good at the last u/s. I reminded him that all looked good with Carli at 10 weeks too!! He told me that he has his fingers and toes crossed that all is going to be good this time, and that he is even hoping I wont have to have a blood transfusion this time...I laughed and told him that was wishful thinking!! I had 2 with Carter, and one with Keaton and Carli, so I will more than likely have one this time too!! He told me he will have my blood down here ready to go, since it has to be typed and crossed since I have some weird duffy antibody. Next appt is set for Oct 29th!!

One of the girls from one of the message boards I go to mentioned asking the dr about seeing if I could donate my own blood. I thought that was an interesting concept. I will ask him at my next appt.

I will also tell you how impatient I am. I think I am going to call Baby Images in the mall to see if I can get an early gender check at 16 weeks. That is where I went with Carli, and the first time I went, they told me they were pretty sure she was a girl, but had me come back at 18 weeks and did another check, where they told me they were SURE she was a girl!! I am sure I will post here as soon as I find out what this bean sprout is!!

I really want another little girl. I know I must have said it 3 million times. I feel guilty sometimes since I want a little girl so bad!! Dont get me wrong, I will love having another little boy if that is what is meant to be, but I cant even tell you how I felt when I found out Carli was my little girl!!

I have found that I do pretty good when people ask me some of the crazy questions that they do!! One of my customers came in to the pharmacy about a week ago and asked me what baby #4 was...I told her a little girl named Carli Mae. She said, "Oh, how great!! You evened it out at home..." At that point I sighed and said well, kinda. Then I told her about Carli and what happened. You could just see the look!! After telling her that, she told me that if she had known, she wouldnt have said anything. That is when I told her that I LOVE talking about Carli!! I told her next time she came in that maybe I would have my little book of pictures of her!

I will have to see if I can post a few of the pictures from our trip to the pumpkin patch this year!! But for now...I am off of here to finish getting Keaton ready for the sitter!!

Monday night at 9:51pm, my first nephew, Colby Lee was born. He was 6lbs 5oz and 20 inches long. He is a cute little guy!! I have to admit, even though I dont want to, I had a rough time going up to see his mommy while she was in labor. It had nothing to do with her, it was just hard to think of being up there at that time.

Colby is doing good. He has been a little sleepy, but I am sure it has to do with all the pain meds his mommy has had. I did finally get to see his eyes last nite. While Chelsea was in the bathroom, I decided to go ahead and check his diaper. I took off the sleeper and he was stirring. The nurse came in and I asked when he was suppose to eat again. She said any time now would be good. So I got him good and awake!! He was even fussy as I changed his diaper. I had only heard him cry when the nurse had given him his Vitamin K shot.

Keaton is so stinking cute!! He is playing with my tummy right now and kissing the baby. He just told me my tummy is getting big. I think that is part of the reason that I wish March was here already. The kids are ready to bring a baby home too!! I just wish we would know what kind of baby we are going to have. Casey wont look at the list of names until we know what the baby is. Very frustrating!!

Doing pretty good right now! Even though I had to make up a few days since they changed my due date to March 30th! That is ok thou, since that is right from O! Been feeling pretty good for the most part!! I now am thru 1/4 of my pregnancy!

My mom and I took the kids to Oceans of Fun this past weekend. It was really fun. The kids were all really good. We took one of Mikaela's friends, Jordan, with us. They took off and had all sorts of fun by themselves. My mom and I took care of watching the boys! Carter is not afraid of much when it comes to water. He was doing an awesome job at swimming too!! That place is really awesome! They have a wave pool, a lazy river, which both boys loved, a place called Paradise Falls. Quite a bit of stuff!! I didnt get any pictures thou. I took the camera, just didnt want to mess with the possiblity of it getting wet!

This weekend, mom and I are gonna get off work early on Friday, and we are all going down to Branson for the weekend!! That should be a ton of fun!! We are going to be staying at a place that has a water park at the hotel!! That in itself will save a ton of $$$ on entertainment costs! They have a place called The Butterfly Place, that I am really looking forward to going to! They also have a Ripley's museum that we are going to hit up too!! Mikaela and Carter are excited since they will be getting out of school early!!

I forgot that I wanted to say that my little baby in my widget actually looks like a little baby now, rather than a little alien!!

And, we are gonna be getting a new puppy!! Probably around September 16th!! A little boy!! We decided to name him Wickett, since he will kinda look like an Ewok!! He is a Morkie, which is 1/2 Maltese and 1/2 Yorkie!! I am so excited!! His momma is only 4.5lbs and his daddy is 3.5lbs! So needless to say, he will be a little guy!! We have already bought a little food/water bowl, and a super cute little, and I stress the word little, collar that says, "Bad to the bone!"

I cant wait to share pictures of him!!

And, Sunday, we went out the the cemetary to visit Carli, and Keaton never ceases to amaze me!! He always talks to Carli!! I think Casey and I were kinda down when we were out there, but Keaton made us smile!! He went over and showed Carli (leaned over where she is) and said, "Hey Carli, want to see my new tattoo? It is a dinosaur!!" He is just so sweet and innocent!!