Just Taking It Day by Day

I sometimes hate that I cant take any anxiety meds when pregnant. I seem to be doing alot of worrying here lately. Not even pregnancy related. I am stressing about money! Which I almost always worry about. i really need to do better about budgeting. Also, we still have a ton of crap in the house we were renting before we got here. Yeah, I know...we have been here for a while...but I just havent wanted to go out there. Plus it doesnt help that the landlord guy is a biker dude who can be kinda scary if he wants to. We need to do some repairs out there, and get the carpet cleaned. My kids are hard on carpet! I would just get all the stuff and bring it here, but where we used to live was basically a little town built on a field...so mice love it out there! And I dont want to bring mice here!! So, I really need to get my rear in gear and just get it done!! But I am such a procrastinator!! And that is another thing that drives me nuts!! I know it needs done, but I am not getting it done!! One of the ladies that I used to work with at the pharmacy, is now city clerk for where we used live, (it is five miles from here), and I think she must have said something to my landlord, cuz he called last month, and said he really needs to get someone in there. this lady and I dont get along!! So, I am sure she did in vengeance. I just need to get it done!! But when I come home from work, I am so tired...I am hoping to get a major chunk of it done this weekend!!

I also have been thinking alot of Carli! Not that I dont think of her all the time anyhow, but this would have been her first Halloween! One of the ladies I work with now asked if I minded if she put Carli on the list for All Saint's Day at her church. I told her I didnt mind. My fave OB nurse, Kristin saw me Sunday at the store and asked if I had gone to church that day. Well, I didnt...I am really bad about not going to church. But she told me that she saw Carli's picture on the slide show that they did, and she lost it! The lady from work told me that she thinks alot of people lost it seeing a baby, when all the other people on there were older adults. I am so glad to know that there are so many people out there that have been affected by my sweet little girl!

We went out to the cemetery yesterday and threw away the little pumpkin that we took Carli for Halloween. For some reason I was really emotional going out and getting that. I sometimes feel guilty for how excited I am for this baby. i really do think Carli would want me to be happy....and I am sorry if I keep repeating that. I cant really remember what I have in each post! I have decided that I think this baby will wear home the outfit that we had gotten for Carli to wear home. Carli didnt get to wear it, but in my heart, I dont feel that she would mind this. I bought a cute little pack of socks that I think would match the dress perfectly, and also got a little 3 pack of headbands. Maybe when I get around to doing the belly pics, I will take a pic of that too!!